It has been a long enforced absence for me, due to medical reasons. For many years now I've felt like a sheep trapped within the body of an idiot .... no, wait.... there's something not right about that. Never mind. Anyway, I took some extensive counselling with other members of the LMB and with BBB peoples, to make sure that I knew what I really wanted, how I really felt. We had lots of deep and meaningful conversations.
Well, not with BBB people of course. They've never said anything deep or meaningful in their entire lives of course. You know that, I know that. But the LMB leadership was very helpful, and already had a thorough personal understanding of the issues. Harper, for example, is a real expert on cosmetic surgery (not that it worked very well, but that's a very different question) while Byrcha is herself an orc trapped in a hobbit's body, struggling to get out, crying for help at the top of her voice, screaming, screaming, with nobody to hear. Poor Byrcha.
I didn't talk to Beorbrand, for obvious reasons.
The upshot of it all is that I decided to have the procedure, and convert myself, body and soul, to my trapped inner persona. Well, I mean, I didn't convert my body, not as such, as that would be rather painful and somewhat irreversible, and I might change my mind at some stage. But I took all the counselling, did every therapy session, ingested a variety of herbs, and came out of the Rivendell Clinic a brand new lady. It has taken a while. But then good things always do. It was worth the wait.
Behold, ye peons, behold AEGTHILMINA.
Bow down and stand in awe. Admire the dresses.
