Friday, December 7, 2012

WoW and Lotro

My kids have started playing WoW again, so a few days ago I logged in, just for old time's sake. Fired up one of my old characters, entered a dungeon and ... whoa ... "You fucking retard, why didn't you fucking heal me?  H.E.A.L. Can you even spell you idiot healer. heal me heal me heal me heal me heal me, you have to heal me, rez me rez me rez me rez me you have to rez me FUCKING REZ ME. Go go go go go, hurry up, why the fuck are you not going you noob tank ..."

Etc. You get the picture. Why on earth, I thought to myself, would I voluntarily spend my leisure time with people like this? So I promptly logged off, with no intention ever of returning.

My kids enjoy it. Whenever they meet this kind of thing, they just start arguing, backwards and forwards. Nobody actually expects to win, but it's like some sort of game within the game, a game of  scoring abuse points and keeping tally of put-downs. (Not entirely unlike BBB.) It becomes a topic of dinner-table conversation "Oh I was in this dungeon and the rogue was like why didn't you heal me and I was like cause you're just dps and you were standing in the fire and the rogue was like why were you healing the tank he was doing fine so I was like HE WAS FINE BECAUSE I WAS HEALING HIM ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

Hilarity ensues. Daddy does a facepalm.

Lotro, on the other hand... well, only in Lotro would you have an extended argument in the forums, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, over whether a hobby horse is... get this... lore appropriate!

Hilarity ensues. Daddy does a facepalm.

Lore appropriate?! I mean, oh for goodness sake, where to start on that one?  There were hobby horses in 1504, no there weren't, yes there were, it doesn't matter since the Tolkien universe is an amalgam of... (insert pompous and long-winded semi-intellectual twaddle), laws of physics are broken, no they aren't, yes they are, who cares about the laws of physics, it's not epic enough, yet it is, not it isn't, it's an insult to Tolkien, not it isn't, yes it is, why shouldn't children play on horses, blah blah blah blah blah.

Not as bad as WoW, I freely admit, but ridiculous enough for all that.

Repeat with me the Aegthil mantra. I do hereby solemnly swear to remain as lore-inappropriate as I damn well want to be, but if I'm stupid enough to pay $50 for it, I shall eat my pink hawtpants. Amen.