Friday, December 7, 2012

WoW and Lotro

My kids have started playing WoW again, so a few days ago I logged in, just for old time's sake. Fired up one of my old characters, entered a dungeon and ... whoa ... "You fucking retard, why didn't you fucking heal me?  H.E.A.L. Can you even spell you idiot healer. heal me heal me heal me heal me heal me, you have to heal me, rez me rez me rez me rez me you have to rez me FUCKING REZ ME. Go go go go go, hurry up, why the fuck are you not going you noob tank ..."

Etc. You get the picture. Why on earth, I thought to myself, would I voluntarily spend my leisure time with people like this? So I promptly logged off, with no intention ever of returning.

My kids enjoy it. Whenever they meet this kind of thing, they just start arguing, backwards and forwards. Nobody actually expects to win, but it's like some sort of game within the game, a game of  scoring abuse points and keeping tally of put-downs. (Not entirely unlike BBB.) It becomes a topic of dinner-table conversation "Oh I was in this dungeon and the rogue was like why didn't you heal me and I was like cause you're just dps and you were standing in the fire and the rogue was like why were you healing the tank he was doing fine so I was like HE WAS FINE BECAUSE I WAS HEALING HIM ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

Hilarity ensues. Daddy does a facepalm.

Lotro, on the other hand... well, only in Lotro would you have an extended argument in the forums, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, over whether a hobby horse is... get this... lore appropriate!

Hilarity ensues. Daddy does a facepalm.

Lore appropriate?! I mean, oh for goodness sake, where to start on that one?  There were hobby horses in 1504, no there weren't, yes there were, it doesn't matter since the Tolkien universe is an amalgam of... (insert pompous and long-winded semi-intellectual twaddle), laws of physics are broken, no they aren't, yes they are, who cares about the laws of physics, it's not epic enough, yet it is, not it isn't, it's an insult to Tolkien, not it isn't, yes it is, why shouldn't children play on horses, blah blah blah blah blah.

Not as bad as WoW, I freely admit, but ridiculous enough for all that.

Repeat with me the Aegthil mantra. I do hereby solemnly swear to remain as lore-inappropriate as I damn well want to be, but if I'm stupid enough to pay $50 for it, I shall eat my pink hawtpants. Amen.


  1. I'm trying to resist the temptation to begin an argument in your comments on whether the hobby horse is lore appropriate. This post cracked me up. :)

  2. I cannot possibly tell you how vehemently I am nodding along as I am reading your blog today. Especially about the lore-appropriateness of hobby horses. I think sometimes people forget that LOTRO is a game, and that's all it ever will be, it's not reality and no, it doesn't insult J.R.R. Tolkien. And if he were to be able to listen to all the twaddle, he'd probably just roll his eyes anyways.

    My pressing question is: Will Aegthil be able to color modify his hobby horse to fit his rose rockstariness?

    Mora's human

  3. You mean to say the Rose Rockstar is not lore appropriate?... There goes my image of the handsome Aragorn and his huge.... sword, adored by a spurned lover named Boro-something, a metrosexual dude in tight green spandex, an S&M dorf and four short people that just want to smoke all day and have a constant case of the munchies...


  4. I find the Hobby horse an excellent way to identify extremely rich idiots. Sort of like driving a Hummer. If I could trade all the Hummers in the world for hobby horses, I'd do it in a second. Oh for those of you who have never seen one:

  5. At least those who post on the forums are discussing things and talking to Turbine and try to solve their problem. Maybe they even change some things this way. It may not be your war but it's theirs and the least thing you could do is to acknowledge this and refrain from adding nothing but your disgust about them.

    I am a bit disappointed about this post. You are behaving in the exact same manner like those who you criticise. While calling yourself the daddy of them all you give out facepalms to the people you disagree with just the same as the people you disagree with facepalm Turbine. How is this more kind or more wise?


  6. Fool, did you just imply that you are the Daddy of LOTRO?

    Isn't it ironic to complain about someone complaining about others complaining? Oh look, I'm complaining! Irony circle achievement unlocked!

    I do hereby solemnly swear to remain as lore-inappropriate as I damn well want to be, but if I'm stupid enough to pay $50 for it, I shall eat my pink hawtpants. Amen.