Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Lotroplayers, by the Fool

I've been really impressed by a new set of blogs... comments... articles... whatever, that has appeared on It's called Lotroplayers. They have a great selection of writers on a range of topics, ranging from music to raiding. Not that I would ever read a raiding article or I would lose my idiot licence. But still, if you're into that, there they are.

But they have three (yes, read it again, THREE) writers on music matters, which is pretty damn impressive if you ask me (or even if you don't), and those writers are the best in the LOTRO music business. Now they need to get Phedelene writing for them as well, to complete the set. And Beorbrand (Aegthil will kill me for saying that). And that dorf guy from ... The Breakfast Club. The Chosen Few? I think it's him I mean. And Macalaure, who plays for .... er... some band. Maybe Andunie, with a funny twiddle on the e. And that Songburrow Stroller bobbit person... er... Lina?

I can never remember anybody's name. Geriatric problems. I also have trouble with bladder control.

Anyway, given that LOTRO music is pretty much the beginning and end of my LOTRO interest, this is pretty cool. Well, fine, I exaggerate. I also like making dicky videos, offending serious people, behaving badly, and even killing a monster or two, but really, it's all about the music.

I've thought for some time that LOTRO stood in dire need of a collection like this. So kudos to whoever organised it, as wot I have no idea who it was. In general, I reckon that Lotro doesn't have many good bloggers. Some, sure, just not that many, and not all the good ones post regularly. The WoW world is inundated with bloggers, most of whom are crappy of course, but the volume is so high that you get enough decent ones to read. Not so in LOTRO. *sigh*.

In other news, I have learned a whole lot of stuff I didn't need to. Such is the danger of opening a Twitter account. I tell you, I'm way too old, and way too grumpy to be a Twitterer. Or a Twit. Whatever.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Freedom beckons

I have nothing against Madame Celestine's Educational Establishment for Young Ladies.  Nothing at all. It's a lovely place. Great people, lots of stuff to do. One is never bored. A highly stimulating environment.

But, with all this, a change is as good as a wash, and my current unvaried diet palls eventually.

There are upsides, of course. I have the perfect excuse for missing Weatherstock, always a good thing to have. And to miss. A whole day of pseudo rock stars, and not one is wearing rose! Pathetic, really. BBB is again banned from attendance, due to Weatherstock local ordinances. People can be so petty and unforgiving.

But my time in durance vile comes to an end. Real Soon Now. Only another month or so. My Fool is already making plans for the next BBB extravaganza. He needs real singers, real players. A Capella singing. Maybe. If it works. Lots of vocal harmonies. Dancing galore. Orcs up the wazoo.

It's A Casual Stroll to Mordor Rave Dance Party Exercise Video. So get off your fat lazy chuff and volunteer to help him.

Monday, March 11, 2013

A Dummies Guide to making LOTRO videos

Somebody asked me to write this, so I did. You may or may not find it useful. I actually have no idea whether everybody already knows all this, and does it better anyway, or whether I should be awarded a Nobel prize for genius and creativity.

Well, actually, I do really.

A Dummies Guide to making LOTRO videos.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Fool's partial farewell

It's going to be a busy year for me. I'll be out of New Zealand for around 6 months or so (I'm out right now, as it happens, in that lovely state of Texas, where everything is bigger, apparently), and busy when I'm home. New writing projects for one thing, and other stuff.

When I'm traveling I can't play Lotro, and when I'm busy I don't have time to think about writing Lotro music, or making videos. I doubt I'll write many blog entries over the next year, if any. And I don't see myself writing more music, or doing more videos, for quite a while.

If I'm being entirely honest, Lotro has also become increasingly difficult and annoying to play. My Windows client is unplayable because it crashes all the time, and my Mac client doesn't play music properly. At my advanced age I just don't need the irritation. I can read a book instead (I have special glasses, designed for old people).

So, a partial farewell. Aegthil will still be around every so often, but not reliably. He'll enjoy the rest, I think. I'll continue to join BBB and EEE whenever I can, but there will be long periods when I'm not there.

Not that I'm narcissistic enough to imagine that anybody will particularly care, and many will heave a sigh of relief, but at least it explains why that irritating bloody pink prat isn't around so much.

Friday, January 25, 2013

EEE, and a casual stroll to Mordor

Last night I set foot in Bree for the first time in a week or so. Things seem to have quieted down substantially, and I wasn't assaulted by any knife-wielding harpy in a green dress. There was a bit of gunk lying around in the drains, so maybe Harperella got her liposuction done. Hope so.

I had to get back for the infamous EEE, which stands for, among other things, Elyita's Edventurous Excursions. Every week at much the same time Captain E leads her Entrepid eTroops on Edventures of eDanger and eDelight. Well, to be strictly honest, not a lot of danger, as the entrepid etroops mostly tackle level 5 dungeons, or thereabouts.

I wouldn't want to break a nail.

The goal is, of course, to get horsies and ponies. Why would I want to do this, I hear you ask, especially when I already have a lovely sort of blackish horse that the poncy Mirkwood elves gave me? I have a really good answer to that question, which is ... the answer is ... well, it's just that ... um.... coming soon ... er ... any time now... well, never mind for now about that, but getting horsies and ponies is what EEE does. This seems to involve an awful lot of rather pointless slaughter, but hey, a man does what a man has to do. We are now on the 24th deed, with only another 472 to go.

I may have to write a guide. Delightful.

In other breaking news, my Fool wrote a song for A Casual Stroll to Mordor. I have no idea why he did. I guess he had nothing better to do. I mean, it's not like he lives beside a lovely golden-sand beach, just perfect for swimming, looking out over the gulf to the islands, where it's currently the middle of summer and very warm. If he was in a situation like that I'm guessing he wouldn't waste his precious time, pissing about writing crap music for anybody, but ... oh, wait. Never mind. Moving right along. Honestly, the things my Fool does just boggle the mind.

What an idiot.

Anyway, if you want to play it yourself, you can grab the music here. Hell, you can even sing along.

(Merric sings)
I'm on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, I'm gonna try on Sauron's ring
I'm gonna climb right up that Morgul tower, and at the top I'll sing
I'll check out all the orc chicks, those whip and leather dames
I'm on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, and Merric is my name!

(Goldenstar sings)
I'm on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, it's a long way from the Shire
To see that sexy Sauron hunk is my heart's one desire
I don't think he's real happy, he's so misunderstood
If I can offer love and comfort, well, I think I should.

Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor

(Horn Solo)

(Merric sings)
We're on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, it's not so very far
And time will pass so quickly when you chat with Goldenstar
Before you even know it, we'll be standing at the gate
Sauron is expecting us, I doubt we'll have to wait

(Chorus and drum break)

Casual Stroll to Mordor
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a

(Goldenstar sings)
Casual Stroll to Mordor, Saruman is there
I love his flowing snowy robes, his straightened bleached-out hair
We'll sit and eat some sammies, we'll take a touch of tea
We'll share the goss for hours, just Saruman and me

(both sing)
We're on a Casual Stroll to Morder, it's not quite what we thought
Although we realised our mistake, I fear that now we're caught
The orcs, they really love us, but that's the thing, you see
They're boiling us in oil, to eat us for their tea

They're boiling us in oil, it's a hobbit fricassee
They're boiling us in oil, poor Goldenstar and me!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Terror stalks the streets of Bree

Terror stalks the streets of Bree, clad in a green gown, with a flaming torch in one hand and a gutting knife in the other. Frightened residents huddle behind their barred doors. Dogs run - if they can. Screams break the night silence as the Gibbering Lady claims another victim, and, next morning, another corpse decorates the gutters.

None of these corpses wears rose, and so the terror continues.

This, of course, has nothing to do with me. There isn't even any direct proof that the Gibbering Lady is connected to Harperella in any way. It certainly wasn't my fault if Harperella took offense, I was just trying to be nice. Lots of ladies would be delighted to get a voucher for 80% off their next liposuction and nose job at the Bree Beauty Clinic. And it isn't like Harper couldn't use it. Just saying.

Still, it's fortunate that my Fool has had to go away for a while, leaving me free to barricade myself into one of Madame Celestine's franchise establishments. Not in Bree, of course, but I'm not free to say exactly where. That would be foolhardy.

With luck I will be able to reappear in a few weeks.

Friday, January 4, 2013

The Twelve Days of Yule Fest

Well, well, and a happy New Year to all my friends, and a big shout-out to the girls at Madame Celestine's. We continue to have a mutually satisfying relationship, which has now also become financially remunerative. Some weeks ago I was paid a rather large commission by Madame Celestine to make a promotional moving picture for her establishment. With a little help from my friends, this is the result

Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and is not my fault. It's bound to increase business (which was already booming, let me assure you). Perhaps Madame will have to think about opening a branch in Snowbourne. Maybe a franchise?

Anyway, in other news, I visited Frostbluff once or twice, but, quite frankly, it was dead boring. The first day was OK, as I ran around building a snowman and drinking beer, so I went there on the second day hoping for a bit more fun. What a bloody scam! All the jobs that needed to be done were... get this... exactly the same! I couldn't believe it. Booooooorrrrrrrring. Bugger this, I thought, and headed back to Bree for a restorative drink.

Not that Hotbolt is much better. I was drafted into rebuilding this nasty little town that was burned down by orcs, but, quite frankly, I'm just not that into DIY. That's what plebeian tradespeople are for. I mean, who's going to be more efficient at fixing your toilet - a Rose Rockstar Super-Hero, or a boring plumber person who probably wears shades of brown? Yeah, what I thought, too.

But the nasty man, Beorbrand, didn't give me a lot of choice. He said I had to shut up and just do it. Then he told me to shut up again. And again. And again. Etc. Bastard. Still, never one to make a fuss (not like some prima donnas I could mention), I buckled down to the job. What a pain. Like I care about Hotbolt Tent Enhancements IV. I'm looking out for the Madame Celestine's Franchise Establishment Inhabitants III, but no luck yet.

I suppose it's traditional at this time to do a roundup of the past year. A sort of personal retropective, an emotionally sensitive (yet psychologically penetrating) examination of one's accomplishments and failures. Cennwyn tried, but got drunk instead. Much better idea I thought.

I'm not even going to try. It's another year. I'm still the Rose Rockstar. Oh yeah.