EEE, and a casual stroll to Mordor

Last night I set foot in Bree for the first time in a week or so. Things seem to have quieted down substantially, and I wasn't assaulted by any knife-wielding harpy in a green dress. There was a bit of gunk lying around in the drains, so maybe Harperella got her liposuction done. Hope so.

I had to get back for the infamous EEE, which stands for, among other things, Elyita's Edventurous Excursions. Every week at much the same time Captain E leads her Entrepid eTroops on Edventures of eDanger and eDelight. Well, to be strictly honest, not a lot of danger, as the entrepid etroops mostly tackle level 5 dungeons, or thereabouts.

I wouldn't want to break a nail.

The goal is, of course, to get horsies and ponies. Why would I want to do this, I hear you ask, especially when I already have a lovely sort of blackish horse that the poncy Mirkwood elves gave me? I have a really good answer to that question, which is ... the answer is ... well, it's just that ... um.... coming soon ... er ... any time now... well, never mind for now about that, but getting horsies and ponies is what EEE does. This seems to involve an awful lot of rather pointless slaughter, but hey, a man does what a man has to do. We are now on the 24th deed, with only another 472 to go.

I may have to write a guide. Delightful.

In other breaking news, my Fool wrote a song for A Casual Stroll to Mordor. I have no idea why he did. I guess he had nothing better to do. I mean, it's not like he lives beside a lovely golden-sand beach, just perfect for swimming, looking out over the gulf to the islands, where it's currently the middle of summer and very warm. If he was in a situation like that I'm guessing he wouldn't waste his precious time, pissing about writing crap music for anybody, but ... oh, wait. Never mind. Moving right along. Honestly, the things my Fool does just boggle the mind.

What an idiot.

Anyway, if you want to play it yourself, you can grab the music here. Hell, you can even sing along.

(Merric sings)
I'm on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, I'm gonna try on Sauron's ring
I'm gonna climb right up that Morgul tower, and at the top I'll sing
I'll check out all the orc chicks, those whip and leather dames
I'm on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, and Merric is my name!

(Goldenstar sings)
I'm on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, it's a long way from the Shire
To see that sexy Sauron hunk is my heart's one desire
I don't think he's real happy, he's so misunderstood
If I can offer love and comfort, well, I think I should.

(Chorus)
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor

(Horn Solo)

(Merric sings)
We're on a Casual Stroll to Mordor, it's not so very far
And time will pass so quickly when you chat with Goldenstar
Before you even know it, we'll be standing at the gate
Sauron is expecting us, I doubt we'll have to wait

(Chorus and drum break)

Casual Stroll to Mordor
(drums)
Casual Stroll to Mordor
(drums)
Casual Stroll to Mordor
(drums)
Casual Stroll to Mordor
(drums)
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a
Casual Stroll to Mordor
Ooo.. Ooo.. yeah... yeah... it's a

(Goldenstar sings)
Casual Stroll to Mordor, Saruman is there
I love his flowing snowy robes, his straightened bleached-out hair
We'll sit and eat some sammies, we'll take a touch of tea
We'll share the goss for hours, just Saruman and me

(both sing)
We're on a Casual Stroll to Morder, it's not quite what we thought
Although we realised our mistake, I fear that now we're caught
The orcs, they really love us, but that's the thing, you see
They're boiling us in oil, to eat us for their tea

They're boiling us in oil, it's a hobbit fricassee
They're boiling us in oil, poor Goldenstar and me!