Friday, January 6, 2012

Level 75

I suppose I ought to mention that I have recently reached level 75, which is much less than my real level of course, but still better than level 80. And having reached this exalted level I felt inspired to take some servants with me around a dungeon or two. After all, Beorbrand the Piper Man has often told how the very best fashions, including hats and shoes, are to be found only at such exalted level dungeons.

So, in we went. Strygaric, Gondorel, and myself. After killing a few minor baddies my servants proved unable even to make a decent cup of tea, and we got to some poison baddie and he wiped his arse with our faces, time after time. He ran into the thorns, and then into the nasty goo, and then all those nasty little brown clouds spawned and blew me up, and my servants were entirely inadequate to look after me in the fashion to which I have become accustomed.

It was shocking. I broke a fingernail.

After some time I found a different group of servants, and hired them to take me around, and show me the sights. Andeon and Erakleon. What a fine pair of butlers these would make. They could make tea, and even serve wine at table (with proper training and attention). This time we kicked that poison baddie's butt all the way back to whichever nasty hell spawned him. Oh yeah. And then we had scones.

I was expecting great fashion consequences, but all I got was some measly little seal or sigil or something like that. It was pathetic, and not at all appropriate to my stature and performance. I shall have to talk to the mayor.

A few days ago (my word, haven't I been busy!) I also joined up some really large group killing bobbits in Tooktown. Beorbrand was there as well, and lots of other people, and there were lots of flashy lights and colourful explosions, and I just followed the crowd around wondering what on earth was going on and then some people died (I'm not quite sure why) but they got up again, and then something happened and everybody left and the bobbits said thank you.

Weird. Why would they thank us for killing them? I don't get it. But I got out before they realised their mistake. I'm told this was something called a "raid". Personally, I'd rather raid Rivendell then some measly bobbits, but then nobody asked me at all.

I'm sure that many other people are also confused by "raids" on bobbits, so I shall soon write some more guides to explain raids and level 75 dungeons, and things like that. I think of it as a public service.


  1. Carica says this is the most horrible thing to read.
    The Stripper says this is the most hilarious thing to read.

    Either way, we both agree that Aegthil is delusional.

  2. Carica obviously has split personality issues. Totally.

    And Aegthil, that was Tookstock - I'm assuming you took some of the brown mushrooms if people were dying and getting back up while things were exploding in technicolor. I should expect better from you, but I'm more upset you didn't share. Was it Life of Riley or GHMS or EMS or MVTiddlywinks headlining? I can't remember.

    Oh yeah, you've come to the dark side now.

    B.B., Orc Diplomat deed Winner