Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Great Barrow, Reprise

Finally my Fool has proved that he is not entirely useless. No, let me retract that. He is entirely useless. However, he was able to find a group of servants willing to kill stuff for me in the Great Barrow. This does not prove that he’s not entirely useless, it merely proves that he can read advertisements and respond to them.

Anyway, it was my very first experience in a Fellowship, and most interesting it was. Well, it was interesting for my Fool, who had to learn a lot of things. For me, it was merely yet another opportunity to display my extraordinary musical talent to a group of people that listened very carefully indeed, because if they didn’t they got their arms chewed off.

Still, there were some surprising things. I had no idea that you could be transported directly to the Great Barrow. I heard a rumour that this requires the presence of some kind of food in my pack, so I suppose it was there. Those kinds of details are beneath me. I am not a grocer, I am an Artist. However, transported I was, and there I met a lovely group of people all in bright shiny armour, carrying dangerous looking weapons, and all very much more capable than my Fool. And all so polite! This particularly amazed my Fool, who is used to rather different behaviour in similar such groups. I suspect this is because he is preceded by his reputation, so people don’t bother being polite to him, while in Eregion, nobody knows him. Such are the perils of being a social retard.

But I digress.

Off we went into the Great Barrow, killing all kinds of nasty monster things. I sang fit to burst, my servants killed stuff with abandon, and nobody ran away. Well, nobody that is until we got to some room or other that was full of little nasty things and then one great big nasty thing.

Don’t stand on the stairs, say my servants. My Fool ignores them. Off the stairs, say my servants again. My Fool doesn’t hear. AEGTHIL! Please get off the stairs or you will kill us all. What, says my Fool. What? Huh? Doh. (That is the usual level of his conversation.) AEGTHIL, YOU BLOODY MORON, GET OFF THE DAMN STAIRS! Well, they didn’t actually say that, they were too polite, but I’m quite sure they thought it.

But no, all to no avail. My Fool is incapable of following simple instructions, he left me on the stairs, and Brave Sir Robin chickened out and buggered orf. So did all my servants.

Round two. Leaving nothing to chance, I got off the stairs at the beginning.

And so it went on. Power was a slight problem for me, as was the fact that the nasties kept heading for me, to bite my arse. I guess they really didn’t appreciate my Mixolydians. It was also a new experience for me having to manage my different jobs. Sometimes I just had to heal the servant up front with the thick armour, but other times I had to play ballads and songs in some order so I could get to the good ones. Tier 3 ones, I think they’re called. The names are all funny up in these barbarous northern regions, not at all what I’m used to in Gondor. My Fool gets confused. I don’t, of course.

But we managed. Did the first bit of the Great Barrow, which is a pretty complicated place, all windy tunnels with no signposts, and then moved on to the second part. Killed the nasty there with no real problem.

Finally, my Fool had to go, tired but happy.

Now I have to figure out what to do with all these purple things I got. Marks, or Tokens, or something like that. I have no idea.

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