Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Deeds and Virtues

Now, I know what you're all thinking. You're thinking that Aegthil is already so virtuous that he doesn't need to be concerned about doing any more deeds. Well, and you'd be right. Last I looked I had

Patience: Level 50.
Tolerance:  Level 48
Talent: Level 308
Chastity: Level 304

I think it's interesting to note that I appear to be even more talented than I am chaste, which, if you think about it, is pretty impressive.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about, really. It's not all about me.

This is about my Fool's children. They suffer from the fairly predictable hereditary defect of terminal stupidity and annoyancyism, but that's hardly their fault I guess. Nevertheless, they didn't have to make such a meal of how deeds and virtues work in Middle Earth.

Fool's Children: Hey, Dad, why are you killing all those bats.
My Fool: They aren't bats, you little morons.
Fool's Children: Yes they are. If you weren't so old and blind you'd see that.
My Fool: They are not. They are dragonets.
Children: Yeah, whatever, Dad. Why are you killing them?
Fool: To get Aegthil's Zeal up.
Children: Huh? What?
Fool: To make Aegthil more Zealous. To increase his Zeal. What don't you understand about that, you little turd heads?
Children: You're trying to tell us that .... killing bats increases your.... zeal?
Fool: Yes.
Children: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

(Awkward silence)

Children: So how do you increase your Patience, Dad? By killing cows? I mean you really need that. You REALLY need that. How about improving your temper? Killing little dogs?
Fool: Close.
Children: Ha Ha Ha Ha etc.

(Blessed silence falls...)

Children: Ha Ha Ha Ha etc. You get to be more patient by killing cows?! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha etc. And then do you 'Run Away' if you fall off a cliff? Ha Ha Ha Ha etc. What a stupid game.
Fool: *sigh*

If it's not bad enough that I have to kill a million bloody dragonets, I have to listen to such conversations while I do it.

Maybe I need to work on my Patience a bit. Get it up over 70. Might help.


  1. As someone who's having to kill all the spiders in Taradan and Ered Luin YET AGAIN, I feel your pain. Particularly when the better half walks by, glances at the screen, and says, "Gee, that looks boring. Why are you doing that?"

  2. There's a patience deed for cows?! Holy shit, why haven't I heard about this until now? And where do you pick up the one for little dogs? Hmm, probably by the Stangard mailbox, I bet. ;)

    ~BB, Dog Lover