Saturday, December 27, 2014

Flies

I want to get some pet flies. I want to give them to Beorbrand as a present. He already has flies, I know (mostly because of his natural and organic smell but also because of his innovative hygienic practices) but I think he needs more. I don't, of course, no, not me. It's all for the Beard.

But I now find that I have a long and long and long road ahead of me to get the damn things. I mean, killing trolls is not intrinsically a bad thing to do, I admit that - although I've known some nice ones in my time - but why oh why must I kill so MANY of them. It's all a bit ridiculous. I've got better things to do. People to meet, parties to attend, ladies to slay with my good looks. Really, I have an extensive fan base that simply cannot be neglected.

The gods, I imagine, want my Fool to give them more money, but my Fool resists, thinking that he already gives the Gods plenty of burnt offerings and suchlike things. He can be a bit of a contrary bastard, my Fool.

Of course, it's lovely to be back in Gondor again, although there are a few minor difficulties. But I didn't imagine that the precious hours of my triumphant homecoming would be spent doing repetitive and mindless daily tasks.

Ah well. We shall see whether I ever get these flies. But right now it's not looking good.

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