Saturday, March 24, 2012

Slavery is alive and well

I am thinking of filing an official complaint at the Bree Mayoral Office. My Fool, with no regard for my wishes or personal development, is making me traipse up hill and down dale, from east to west, from north to south, looking for places to make a moving picture of the nasty LMB theme song.

Quite frankly, I have better things to do than climb every single cold and frosty peak in the Misty Mountains, run to every corner of the Trollshaws, or climb every tree in Lothlorien. Although, actually, climbing trees in Lothlorien can be OK, as sometimes you get to climb behind a CEC, and then the view can be spectacular.... but I digress. Ahem. Moving right along.

I would rather be at Madame Celestine's. Go figure.

In other news, my Fool has informed me that there have been complaints that I make comments that are hurtful to women. I just cannot believe this. (My Fool has been heard to say that the mere fact I'm breathing is, in and of itself, hurtful to women, but this is arrant nonsense also.)

I know, from extensive surveys conducted at Madame Celestine's* that 97% of women (excluding bobbits and dorfs) find me devilishly handsome and attractive, and that when I call out to them "Hey Gorgeous, I'm the famous Aegthil" it makes their little hearts go pitter patter pitter patter, and brings them out in hot flushes.

87% of respondents (including bobbits and dorfs) agree that Rose is a Sexy Colour.

This is all true. I have the evidence.

In other news, my Fool is (to be honest) rather saddened by what he considers to be a ridiculous argument that recently occurred in the Landroval Forum. A vibrant and enthusiastic community can so easily be fractured by such trivial and unnecessary things; it only takes one pathological nutcase (and in this case there is just one) to sour the entire barrel, if I may mix my metaphors.

Of course, my Fool insists I mention that I also am a pathological nutcase, just not the one under consideration here.

He is a Fool. Don't listen to him.

*These surveys are conducted by an independent polling agency and have a margin of error of plus or minus 2%

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