Monday, April 11, 2011

The Barrowdowns reprise

Well, I found the Barrow Downs at last. Or maybe the Barrowdowns. Both northern and southern varieties. Full of nasties they are, but I've managed to survive so far while running around doing my various errands. The most difficult thing so far has been to save that mentally retarded little girl, Talia, or Tania, or something.

Now, one doesn't expect much from children. They're under-developed both physically and mentally and their noses run. And their feet smell, which means that they're built upside-down, but let's not go there. Then they grow up, get to be teenagers, and promptly get considerably worse. I'm not sure they ever turn into humans again; expert opinion is divided.

But of this horrible little breed, that vile little girl Talia has to be the worst. A total moron. First, she runs off into the middle of the Northern Barrow Downs (not clever, little girl, not clever), and then she sits there and wails about it. At the very least she could just shut up and let other people get on with their lives while she gets eaten and turned into the walking dead. But no. Whine, whine, moan moan, so eventually you take pity on her.

Bad move. Where's my cloak, says she. Like I care, say I. It was over here, says she. She runs over to an area that, oh joy, just happens to be full of nasties. Brilliant thinking you little turd, say I, and kill the nasties. Thanks, says she. Oh, maybe my cloak was over here. Process repeats. Moron runs over, nasties try to eat her, Noble Minstrel kills the nasties, Noble Minstrel says nasty word directed at moron child.

Until finally the nasties are too much and the Noble Minstrel dies.

The irony of this is just too much for me. In a just world that little girl would be zombie food.

In other news, my Fool is still looking for a Kinship. One that (he says) can put up with me. Not easy, he says, but he's totally full of it. Any kinship would be honoured to boast my presence in their ranks. No, really, it's true.

No comments:

Post a Comment