Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Barrowdowns?

So I was given a bunch of tasks to do in the Barrow Downs. Or maybe the Barrowdowns. I'm a musician, not a spelling expert. First I ask my Fool. Where are the Barrowdowns, say I. No idea, says he. Typical, say I, you lousy excuse for a person. He didn't answer me.

I realised at that stage that it was up to me. I saw some place on a local map, some place called the North Downs, or some such similar thing. Maybe the West Downs. Looks like somewhere a Barrow Down might be, think I, better check it out. Anyway, I ride on up there, and get my arse shredded by monsters who really didn't appreciate my playing. Level 300 monsters I think they were. Maybe even more.

But I persisted, through death after death. Well, at least one of them. I rode through some provincial backwater, with some forgettable name beginning with T. No wonder I forgot it. But no Barrow to be seen anywhere, not the right sort of Down anywhere. Kept on going north, turned a bit east, still no Barrow. The monsters got bigger and bigger, their teeth got whiter and whiter, and they began to look hungry. Eventually discretion became the better part of valour and Brave Sir Robin Ran Away, Chickening out and Buggering Orf.

Back through the provincial backwater to the relative safety of Bree. I'm tempted to sue the mapmaker.

But that still leaves me with a problem. Where, for the love of all things Elvish, are the damn Barrowdowns? My Fool refuses to help me, because he is a social retard. I might be reduced to asking someone for help.

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