Friday, September 2, 2011

Out of Moria

Having reached the exalted heights of level 55, and equipped a brand new Clapping (sword for killing stuff) and Shire Country Songs Vol II (Songbook for killing stuff), I decided that I had had enough of the dim dark recesses of the dwarfs, and I wanted to see the sun again. So I ran out of Moria.

It was a little tricky at times, but I made it.

Made it out to some cutsey Elven place called.... er...... Lorrysomething. I was so exhausted from the exertion I promptly had a nap and didn't pay too much attention to the name. It'll be some piece of Elvish pretentious nonsense, Silmathengarila this, or Lirrydirryafalalal that.

To be honest, the scenery in Moria was kind of spectacular. In a peculiar way. I mean, who on earth would want to dig a hole like that? Well, short hairy dwarfs, obviously, but... woooo..... weird. So, around every corner you see some new, gorgeous cavern, with decorated pillars as long as Apple-Sherie's legs, and with sparkly lanterns almost as pretty as Wrenaya's eyes, but instead of thinking, how beautiful (as you would do with Apple-Sherie or Wrenaya, although not, I have to say with every one of my female acquaintances; I name no names) you think instead, Bloody Hell, who would do this? Why would they do this? This is amazing... but ... no. No. This is not right. This is not normal. This should not be.

However, it's undeniably beautiful, and enormously impressive.

Not always in good repair, mind you. Towards the end I had to run around some big pit, that had a perfectly nice bridge over it, but with a big hole in the middle. Typical dwarfs can't get anything right. If you're going to build a bridge over a pit, at least finish the damn thing. Don't just leave it there with a bloody great hole in it.

Honestly. Dwarfs are so lazy and stupid it's hard to believe.

1 comment:

  1. Just like Aeggie to go comparing dwarven architecture to women, ha! Moria is a place of splendour, I say the structure is brilliant, but I don't like it much because there is no sunshine, and it smells musty. Also, it's cold and easy to get lost. You'd best hope Khizli doesn't read this!

    You're in the Dimrill Dale now, buster! Congratulations and woohoo!