Eating my words, by the Fool

Well, well, and after having written that I'm not going to write, I was subjected to the most hilarious and oddly touching thing I've ever experienced in LOTRO, or any other game for that matter. 

Poor Aegthil was deluged with unwanted letters, collected from the 5th Anniversary celebration, and each unwanted letter came with a wonderful piece of spam. Aegthil is going to have the finest head of hair, the most rippling muscles, the most chest hair, the fattest bank balance, the least body odour, the cleanest feet, the finest fashions, the most delectable food, and, above all, the largest and most impressive penis you have ever seen. Oh dear.

At first I wondered how the game generated these spam emails. They were long, very clever, and very funny. But then some of them were clearly targeted at Aegthil. Not generic at all. So I began to wonder about my initial wonderings. Were they really game mails? What on earth was going on? Well, I didn't know, so I just deleted them all and carried on, making a mental note to ask the LMB how you got such mails generated and sent to someone. Cool feature in the game, huh?

It wasn't until some time later that I realised each and every one of them had been hand-written and sent to Aegthil, to keep me entertained. Beorbrand had orchestrated the whole thing, and a lot of people responded. I'm not sure how many mails Aegthil got, but it was a LOT. And they were very funny indeed.

So, as I said, I felt oddly touched by this. All that time people put in to do something nice for Aegthil and for me. Although possibly 'nice' is not quite the correct word. Goodness, I'm tearing up.

Well, not really, but I could be if I wasn't a manly manly guy. You know, with rippling muscles and thick chest hair, etc.

Now, where did I put those enlargement offers...?

Poor Aegthil, by the Fool

I'm afraid that poor Aegthil has been attacked once again by a marauding band of bobbits, and this time the damage to his writing hand is so severe that he is unlikely to be able to write anything for quite some time.

As his Fool I am not unhappy about this. I feel that such a silly and one-dimensional character as Aegthil has only a limited currency, quickly spent. After a while, his diary becomes merely repetitive and I find myself lacking the inclination to help him write it. In addition, I am beginning a series of other writing projects, and have less time to devote to silly old Aegthil's diary.

Aegthil will, of course, continue to write and perform music, to kill monsters, to irritate everybody he meets, to make videos, and to hang with the cool kids in BBB. He will still be around. He might be foolish and irritating, but I still love the old fellow. It's merely his literary endeavours that are on hold. You never know, he may write more once he recovers from his injuries. But then again, he may not.

The Lonely Mountain Band Song and Video

Well, it's finally done. Whew. It took a bit longer than expected, but only because my Fool went away on holiday in the middle of the job. Typical.  However, he went to that lovely beach that appears at the beginning of the Prince Caspian movie, so it wasn't all bad. He went and did absolutely nothing for a few days. Lazy bugger.

Anyway, the video. It's an awful lot of work from an awful lot of people, particularly Floradine, who did all the audio engineering. And did a very professional job of it, too. Impressive stuff. Real instruments, real singing, coordinated from Germany to New Zealand, and a lot of countries in between. Not bad for a bobbit, I must say.

But lots of other people helped an enormous amount. My Fool couldn't have done it without Beorbrand and PB. Most of the good ideas belong to them. Actually, that's true for all the BBB videos. And I really mean that. Sarasti did the lovely artwork at the beginning. You can tell from the way she dresses that she has real style. She bugged my Fool mercilessly about the colour balance. What's wrong with blue, he said. No way, said Sarasti, just fix it. What colour is green, anyway, said the Fool. Behave yourself, said Sarasti, just fix it. Carica showed her talent for improvisational comedy. Not just in her choice of a bobbit as an avatar (I mean, that is comedy right there), but in her starring performances also. Not to mention her patience as we filmed and refilmed and refilmed and refilmed and refilmed her sequences, to try and get the timing right.

Special thanks to Madaelin and Brenstan who organised the dancers at Ales & Tales for the shot. They're not even in the LMB and now they're associated with it. They'll have to go into hiding. And use disinfectant daily.

There's probably a bunch of other people I should be thanking also, but hey, my Fool is old and he forgets stuff. It's called geriatric senility. It's really not his fault, and anyway it's not polite to make fun of people with disabilities, so leave him alone.

A musical challenge

My Fool is off on his travels again. I'm at Madame Celestine's of course. It's exhausting.

Just before he was left, he was presented with a very tricky musical challenge. Saffyre (or Saffire or Saffrye or Safire or Suphyyree or a name very similar to that as wot he can't remember it and isn't at home to look it up) sent him Aegthil-lyrics to this song. The implication being, of course, that he should write an abc to go with it.

Well, the lyrics are hilarious. Very funny indeed. And my Fool would dearly love to make me sing them in public, in front of my usual crowd of adoring fans.

The trouble is that the song is quintessentially not a Lotro-style song. That rhythmic rap style is exactly what the Lotro music doesn't do. At all. It's not just that it doesn't do it well, it just doesn't do it at all.

It's a bit of a quandary, really. But my Fool rather likes a challenge. He'll think about it.

The Great Anniversary Party Mega Band

Oh yeah. What more need be said?

Well, OK, OK, lots more needs to be said, but I'm mostly too lazy to say it. But it was a blast. Mouldy Vinyards, The Out-Of-Tune Ensemble, and Bobbits Bonking Bunnies. Woo Hoo.

And oh, the fireworks, the fireworks!

My Fool tried to catch as much of it on video as he could, but was only partially successful. Still, he got a lot. Actually, that raises a point for commentary. I do try always to respond to anyone who talks to me, or makes fun of me. I figure that if they're brave enough to comment on my handsome bald head, or to rib me about my nice legs, they deserve everything they get. I always try to give it back. With interest and malice aforethought. On the rare occasion that someone actually says something nice, I even try to respond to that appropriately (i.e., I only mock their parentage not their personal body odour).

But when my Fool is filming, and multiple bands are playing, and he's trying to control the camera, check the lighting, check which shot he's meant to be doing, correct the angles, avoid the trolls, and maybe even try to play a little bit, all with no interface showing, it means that a lot of Aegthil-directed abuse just doesn't get seen.

I feel that all those people are getting a free shot, with no consequences. It just isn't fair.

Mind you, it's not as difficult as the jobs that the poor old band leaders do; Beorbrand, Geoffroi and Lennidhren. Organising Lotro musicians is worse than herding cats. Those three are brilliant. You quote me, I kill you. I never, ever, said that.

My Fool was delighted, though, when someone in the concert recognised a Joe Cocker riff in one of his songs. Ooo... he said to himself... oooooo.... how exciting. Of course, I didn't get to say anything as my Fool was too busy, but whoever is the Joe Cocker fan out there, know that you made my Fool very happy. Of course, this person probably only knew it was Cocker because I said it was in my diary, but hey, even false happiness is better than none at all.

In other news, my Fool was also told his voice is "mellifluous". I told him this is Elvish for "sounds like a cheese-grater". I think he believed me. He had got all excited, but I brought him back to earth real quick smart.

But enough about my Fool. More about me. In the next installment, gentle reader, so you will just have to wait.