The Geriatric's MMO, by the Fool

My son is 17. He plays online games quite a lot. That is an understatement.

To him, the only reason (and I really do mean the only reason)  for playing an online game is to kill other players. Preferably with one shot, and then stand on their corpse, grinding their face into the dirt. And even better if they come back for more. You can do it again. And again. And again.

This, apparently, never gets old.

We played WoW together for a number of years, and he was always willing to help me do boring stuff. You know, quests and things like that. But all he really cared about was killing other players, grinding their faces etc etc. See above.

As a side note, he tried to train me to join his arena team. Dad, just run out when the doors open and do this then do that then heal stuff and then run behind the pillar, DAD run behind the ...DAD DAD, the other side of the pill .... Dad, you've died again. How can you be so STUPID? Why didn't you run behind the pillar? I told you to. What is your problem, Dad? OK, let's try again. This time, run behind the pillar, OK?

Now, run out, heal me, do this, do that, RUN BEHIND THE PILLAR..... too late. You died AGAIN, Dad. OK, let's try this again....

Etc.

I was never a successful or productive member of his arena team.

Anyway, my son continues on his merry blood-soaked online career, and watches with bemusement at me playing LOTRO.

What are you doing now, Dad? Why are you playing music, Dad? What for? Why are you talking to those people? What is everybody doing? Is this some sort of concert, Dad? What's going on?

Why is everybody putting a fullstop at the end of their sentences? You don't need to do that, it's just a pointless waste of time. And why does everybody talk so much with all that complicated sentence stuff, what's the point, I don't get it? Nobody is doing anything! I can't believe how boring that game is.

I tell you, Dad, LOTRO is an MMO for old retired people.