Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Aegthil: Roving Reporter and Agony Aunt

Being a man of so many and varied highly developed skills it was only a matter of time before I got asked to contribute to Society in ways other than my fashion sense and rock-star performances (and lifestyle).

You will all be delighted to hear that I have signed on to the Landroval Times as their reporter-at-large, with particular responsibility for the Celebrity Gossip Column, and the Agony Aunt page.

In my first intrepid and daring piece of investigative journalism I report on the possible sad fate of a missing dorf and the potential involvement of the Sons of Numenor. This is indeed a sordid tale of corruption, treachery and greed in the innermost circles of one of our previously most respected kinships.

Where will it all end? Who can tell? For we are embarking together on a dangerous journey to discover the truth, at all costs; it is only by looking deep within ourselves and facing the unthinkable (for example, a Son of Numenor in a dress) that we can arrive at a fuller understanding of ourselves.

Join me, my friends and fans, as I delve into the dark and dirty secrets of Bree High Society, as I look in detail at the Elvish parties in Rivendell (just what, exactly, are they smoking, and where did they get it?), and as I dispense kind and gentle advice to those poor souls in need of a little reassurance.

This is Aegthil, Agony Aunt and Roving Reporter, signing off.


  1. Dear Mr. Aegthil of Gondor,

    After reading your recent article in the Landroval Times, regarding the supposed kidnapping of a creature called a "dorf" by a group calling themselves the "Sons of Numenor", I am of the opinion that you are simply making brash and unfounded accusations against a respected and well-known kinship in Middle Earth. I have had occasion to interact with many members of this kinship, and can assure my fellow readers, with all certainty, that they are noble-hearted and, above all, perfectly harmless.

    It strikes me, however, that you, who have recently taken to calling yourself "new and improved", have quite a lengthy record of previous misdeeds, in association with a piper by the name of Beorbrand. For what nefarious purpose do you desire to find out the location of the Daughters of Numenor? Enquiring minds wish to know!

    -Anarwald of Landroval

  2. As a former member of SoN, I can assure you that Daughters of Numenor actually exist. They are the greatest treasure of the kinship, coveted and prized for their stunning beauty and infinite loyalty. They seldom travel outside the DoN kinhouse, and when they do, they dress as Sons of Numenor. They are rumored to be similar to Sons in voice and appearance, usually other peoples cannot tell them apart. For this reason, men have the opinion that there are no Daughters of Numenor and that SoNs reproduce by budding.


  3. They don't reproduce by budding?! *Is traumatized* How did you ever escape Sarasti? Did they 'kick' you out? What happens to old Daughters of Numenor? :P

    Aegthil, have you found out what the elves are smoking yet? Inquiring minds need to have peace and a piece, if you get my drift.

    B.B., most degenerate