Friday, November 11, 2011

Missing bobbits sighted

Reports have been received at the Landroval Times that two bobbits, reported missing late last week from the premises of the famous and fabulous rock band, BBB, were seen on Monday night performing with Old Winyards.

The bobbits are one Bluebonnett (short, roundish, very ugly, body odour problem) and one Carica (short, roundish, very ugly, body odour problem), both members of the Lonely Mountain Band. They had been purchased (on sale) by BBB some months ago, and have since come to play unnecessary and unimportant roles in the weekly BBB performances.

At the time, their disappearance led to rampant speculation about possible bobbit abuse inside BBB, but this was investigated and found to be nothing more than the product of sad jealousy from people of inferior talent.

Nevertheless, the sudden and unexpected appearance of the two said bobbits with Old Winyards, must now raise some ugly questions that this reporter, at least, would like to see answered. Is it really acceptable for Old Winyards to steal band personnel, even if they are not important? Is the organisation Elves Against Cruelty to Hobbits (EACH) investigating? If not, why not? What does Lennidhren know, and when did she know it?

It is the opinion of this newspaper, and of every right-thinking person, that the leader of the Lonely Mountain Band, Harperella, the person who carries ultimate responsibility for the actions of  LMB members, should be brought in for questioning by the police, and forced to provide an explanation for behaviour that, at the very least, is disturbing.


  1. Very mysterious affair, this. Why would BBB's bobbits willingly perform with Old Winyards anyway? Everyone knows we treat them quite well.

    I think the two halflings you saw were impostors. Old Winyards must have grown jealous of BBB's rising fame, so they kidnapped Bluebonnett and Carica and dressed up two normal, non-famous bobbits in their clothes. Too bad I wasn't performing with OW that night -- I would have spoken against such practices! Giliarond, who was there, refuses to say a word on the matter.


  2. Well, who needs them anyway. Plenty more Bobbits in the sea (well not literally you understand as then they would be drowning).

    I know of a very fine Dwarven musician ready and willing to step up. BBB needs more Dwarves!

  3. The hobbits are free to play as guest performers any time. The contract does not specify that they can only play in BBB concerts. It was a debut stage of Carica's new song, and she had to be there to make sure the performance proceeds well.

    It wasn't just for Locney's cupcakes, really.