Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Bluebonnett's in jail

I regret to inform all my avid fans... well, actually, let me rephrase. I don't at all regret to inform my avid fans - in fact, I take enormous pleasure in informing my avid fans - that Bluebonnett Merrydo, the wanna-be rock star who isn't nearly as important as she thinks she is, was discovered by the Bree Town Guard in flagrante delicto with a muffin.

She was promptly hauled off to the Bree jail, where she remains. And good riddance too, I say. I'm not paying her bail, that's for sure.

That's why she's been absent from the last couple of BBB performances, which have therefore been models of gentility, decorum, and appropriate behaviour. Well, there may have been a little slip with Rosaliiee, but nothing to get excited about, and anyway, her psyche is probably not permanently injured. The rather dull little Blingamerrydo (I think she is Bluebonnett's grand-daughter or something; there is certainly a strong family resemblance) has taken Bluebonnett's place in BBB and will be performing with us other rock stars on a regular basis. She, at least, behaves in a relatively respectful and appropriate manner. Mostly.

I wish I could say the same for Harparzilla, another new arrival. She's a rather scary sort of character, to be honest, with a wickedly sharp (and inaccurate) turn of phrase. I shall have to consider ways she can be sabotaged. I know she's pretty keen on sailors, so that might be a possibility. They often spread nasty diseases. I'll have a wee chat to Madame Celestine to see what can be arranged.

Carica has become quite a regular and clearly is a huge admirer of me. As is often the case, she tries ineffectively to hide her admiration behind a superficial facade of rudeness and inaccurate comments. I see past such things to the underlying depths. I'm good that way. Yet another thing I'm very good at.

And the not-very-famous Geoffroi joined BBB also, for a couple of weeks.  Apparently he's from Gondor. Never heard of him.

But the most exciting thing to happen in weeks and weeks was the reappearance of the lovely Wrenaya, dressed to the nines and fit to kill in a lovely dress that was.... er... maybe green? It could have been blue. Or red perhaps. Whatever. Anyway, it was very nice indeed and she looked smashing! She even spoke to me! My Fool thinks that maybe she thought I was somebody else.

Which is why he is a Fool.  I have complete faith in the attractive power of baldness.


  1. The muffin would like it made known that he is not planning to press charges. Although slightly traumatized by the experience, he can see how hard it would have been for Bluebonnet to resist. Of course, she finds it eminently easy to resist your unwanted attentions.

    Geoffroi could care less about your lack of knowledge of great troubadors. He does, however, stand in awe of your staggering self-delusion and wishes he could have just a touch of such arrogance.

  2. How dare you let Bluebonnett in jail!!
    i thought your were above all those petty muffin troubles ... i will have to adress some request to Miss Wrenaya and probably bring Bluebonnett some more muffins

  3. Gentility, decorum, and appropriate behaviour...

    I see those mushrooms still have you deluded. NOT that that is anything new.